On January 13, I received a disappointing diagnosis that changed the trajectory of how I desired to live my life. I have genetic insulin resistance. It’s a fancy way of saying I need to live on a diabetic diet. This means eating mainly twigs, bark, and lean meats while the rest of the world enjoys scrumptious desserts, tantalizing sushi, mouth watering pizza, golden delicious fries, soft, warm bread, etc. If I don’t, the end result could be Type 2 Diabetes. Instead of choosing what I want to eat or if I want to exercise, I’m now facing a massively restrictive diet with regimented daily exercise. You see, I have a passion for really great food and enjoy eating it with those I love. When I received this news, I wallowed for three weeks in the idea that my family and friends would reject me for what I could no longer eat with them. It’s funny the stories we tell ourselves while trudging through difficult seasons. I bet you’re dying to hear what I told myself... Your community of family and friends will reject you because you are no longer fun. Your food restrictions will annoy people and they no longer will want to be with you. You will end up alone! You can never enjoy the food you love again! What’s the point? After anchoring myself in the irrational world of self-pity, I remembered what a friend shared with me a few months prior. You have a choice to view life through a cloud of pain or a cloud of joy. It’s your choice! The diagnosis and how I may feel occasionally aren’t my choice. However, how I choose to embrace the diagnosis for the rest of my life IS my choice. Embracing the “new” isn’t always pleasant or even exciting. How I choose to live it out will affect my frame of mind and affect those around me. So, what does my “new” look like for 2020 and beyond?
Believing my family and friends love me for who I am and not for what I can or can’t do.
What I can or cannot eat doesn’t affect my life purpose. I am created to connect people to God and to one another. Whether or not I can eat See's Candy is utterly meaningless in comparison.
I didn’t choose this health condition, but I can choose how I view life.
I choose gratitude and joy! I choose to radiate love, peace, and harmony to those around me. I want to magnify love and service. This is the woman I choose to be. This is my “new!” Will I have difficult days? Absolutely! Walking in the “new” can be challenging and treacherous. What will I do when I choose to ruminate in the land of “woe is me?” I will read some of my favorite passages in the Bible that will encourage me to not give up. I will be transparent with my family and friends who will sit with me through the hard and encourage me to keep pressing on. What “new” are you embracing this year? Maybe for you, it’s exciting and adventurous. Or is it difficult like my situation? I would love to hear your story! May you be blessed by twigs and bark today! By Holly Hall